Stop Carrying Da Poop!

Okay, I've had it. I think it is absolutely absurd how "caring" and "considerate" people are these days when it comes to walking their pooch.

Everyday on the way home from work, I see person after person walking their dog on Grove Barton Road -- 90% of whom are carrying a bag of dog crap.

Now, maybe you think I'm crude. But, look at it from my perspective: when did people start carrying plastic bags filled with fecal material up and down the sidewalk?

Look, I'm just a country boy. Bred, Born, and Raised in the small Vance County town of Henderson -- we lived a little differently. I can assure you of this -- in 20 years of living in Vance County, I never once -- NOT ONCE -- saw a single individual carry doggie doo with them during a leisurely walk.

God had a plan for dog dump -- let it fertilize and replinish the nutrients in the soil. It usually hardens in a few hours or a day. Trust me -- it ain't that big a deal!

And, my friends, this ridiculous problem is spreading. Every night while I enjoy my supper at the bay window of my home, I watch a neighbor religiously walk their dog to the same spot -- where he defecates -- same fido time, same fido station.

Now, I don't know about you, but my idea of a good meal is not watching fido drop his log and then see my neighbor pick it up with a plastic food lion bag when I'm chewing tonight's meatloaf.

It is time for this insanity to end. The next time you see one of these poor lost souls carrying around a sack of $*&#, stop and ask them "Excuse me, but do you find yourself attractive carrying around that foul fido funk?"

I mean, come on! My dog did her business in the back yard, side yard, front yard, neighbor's yard, -- you name it -- growing up as a child. And how often did I step in the doggie doo? Once in a very, very, very blue moon.

And you know what we did in our little country abode? We wiped our shoes off in the grass.

But ... not in Raleigh. No -- we have to be more civilized. (Folks -- this isn't civility -- it's stupidity!) It's become so systemic, there are even doggie trash cans and little baggies on some of the freakin' sidewalks.

And finally, if any of you are some of the afforementioned poo-poo heads who are participating in this nonsense -- STOP NOW! Please think of how utterly ridiculous you look in your athletic wear, walking your dog, trying to stay in shape ... all the time carrying dog crap.

And that's part of our world...

Randy Gupton, fivesecondstoair.blogspot.com